Sure enough, when he came home he noticed the baby's chair was off of the dining chair. Finally, realize the value within yourself. I was curious if they put shoes on them when the bury them, so I looked under the little curtain where his feet were. “I hate him. During my early years he adored me, but by 13 he was done, so I was very confused. I acknowledge that my father was a narcissist, now I just have moments of concern that I might have had some of those characteristics or even see it in men / relationships. Narcissistic brother: My brother is seven years older than me, and I lived in constant terror of what he would do to me next. by the following”: Another characteristic typical of narcissists is a disregard for personal boundaries. There is other stuff: dealing with her vile temper if she is contradicted, or never receiving the slightest sympathy or comfort. That's a thought provoking post. If I needed to go to the bathroom, "you can wait." Sometimes I hate my kids. I was the second of two children in my house. The mother is more interested in protecting herself than protecting her children. Sara, I am not sure how old you are. I met one of them. The families I see and know of, function with respect for both parent. I really resent and am starting to hate my kids. Many 5-month-old babies really love being up and around and being carried face out on dad’s chest when going out to touch the leaves or flowers, for example, can be a great adventure – enough to “forget” mom for a little while. They never go away and want to be coddled even they're grown adults now. It is easy to say to forgive, but you likely aren't still living with them so the hells of living with a parent with narcissistic personality disorder aren't still as fresh for you. Your survived yourself. He would rage like a demon, and my mother would get quiet and stare him down. It's hard to keep a job when your father get's ill many times because of his liver problem . I saw the movie,"The Bad Seed" and I recognised him in this movie. Andrea, I am very sorry for you had to go through. Beside the narcissism he has a drinking problem ( though physycally nonviolent ). Because image is so important to narcissists, they may demand perfection from their children. But I don't have control of them. Yates is best known for her work on two television programmes, The Tube and The Big Breakfast.She was the girlfriend of musician Bob Geldof from 1976 to 1986 and was married to him from 1986 to 1996. I hate my kids. This left me and my mother alone to incur the wrath of the Leviathan. Is it that hard for you to see mothers' values? How terrific ! But if I see them, I try my best to treat it like the challenge that it is. January of 2020, she will be able to file for a divorce. You are special and deserve love for being you. It always happened when my mother wasn't around. Thankfully, divorce is an option. But how do you deal with ongoing abuse? they greatly were against here. I am also ultra sensitive to other people's emotions and that doesn't help. Perhaps they should have had counselling or some other form of therapy BEFORE they became parents, to give themselves time to work through THEIR OWN issues? Why women? If he does, so does her mother. Eliot. So far, I am not there to come into that kind of negotiation with an abuser (if I will ever be)...but there is a promise that it could be possible. They are no longer "Gods". A good way is to ignore. I try to act in accordance to how I want my relationship to be, but without expecting them to change. To me, that indicates "minimum possible" not "best we can". When you go through these traits, some may hit home; while others may not be relevant. It wasn't until then that I saw that both of them, but my mom in particular, got married with very selfish motives in mind. Forgiving one's parents, if possible, can free up your life. What forgiveness does for me, is like letting go of a heavy stone that weighs my spirit down. Why? His number rule with me was this: "I don't care about your other homework, but you better bring those math books home every Goddamn night." He will have to do a service for me. We left the next day and found a motel to live in. I went through a living hell growing up in that house. But now that I am living with him, I almost have a constant headache or stomach ache. He stopped the car and just stared ahead. Barking out orders, demanding obedience, always inspecting and always finding something you did wrong. Males were good, mother was bad. PRINCE HARRY was affected by Princess Diana and Prince Charles' deteriorating marriage and even “attacked” his father, shouting “I hate you' at him, according to a royal author. Also, Colin's mother died when he was born and "it makes [his father] wretched to look at me." Dreams have been described as dress rehearsals for real life, opportunities to gratify wishes, and a form of nocturnal therapy. when mothering is toxic), it wants to be loved (the Animus, the Soul, the gateway to the Self, to the Divine)....and men help to ease this process. It's yours too as children until you become an adult and try to make your own way. Now that I have been living with him, it is so clear everything my mom said was true and how skewed our perception of him was. It's like talking to a wall . Aaaahhhhhhhhh. No adult daughter needs her dad or anyone to control her. They don't seem to appreciate how good they have it. “Half the harm that is done in this world is due to people who want to feel important. I have also reached out to him over an over trying to get to that place of forgiveness and acceptance. Martha Cliff, The Sun November 4, 2020 9:23am The other extreme is the Narcissistic Personality Disorder, a controversial but often helpful label. I lived with it for the first 20 years of my life, been out of it for 13 years now and still dealing with the aftermath of it. then any empathy is greatly reduced. He smiles and says, "oh, nice, I see someone cleaned." He got REAL tired of my disabled brother; I'm reasonably certain that caused their split. My mom was under some strange delusion that if she kept tricking my dad with a few unplanned pregnancies, she could buy herself a lot of "stay-at-home mom" time where she would be financially carried by him, along with her line of "unplanned" children. Meanwhile, I am only 4 years older than him, yet I'm going the entire family's laundry and cleaning up after everyone and cooking all our meals while my mother lounges around; only "supervising" me long enough to yell if I "do it wrong" or beat me if I "upset the (11 year old) baby". When I would get off the school bus and saw the car in the driveway, I would hide in the woods behind our house until I heard the car start and saw him drive off. I hate my son. My father's response: "If you're going to be a pain in the ass I won't come at all." because children have no choice BUT to "allow" a disturbed parent's damaging behaviour! My father meets criteria of NPD (evacuated as a child and taken from his parents during WW2). —T.S. It hurts because I want them to have a relationship with my father and my sister because they are family but I realize that the harm, at least in my case outweighs the good that such a relationship would do. Left-Handedness and Hormones: Is There a Link? A DUDLEY dad murdered his baby daughter by violently shaking her to death after having a "difficult afternoon looking after her" when she would not stop crying, a court was told. "I had to walk to school in overalls and all I had was a pencil, she can wear what she had last year. Prices and download plans . I had a wonderful loving mother and we lived with monsters. We have three children living here and he makes subtle jabs at them also. I secretly hate my kids. He was always doing something to hurt me. He was the son of 9 children and he was "The golden boy." Especially if they have personal experience of having their own parents be abusive, neglectful, or similar. It's not your dads house. I really need some advices . Did he treated your mother the same way ? Several support groups exist for parents who feel overwhelmed by having children, such as Mind, PANDAS, and Mothers for Mothers. I'll save the "love others" option for those with whom I don't cut ties. And if so, why is it important? He tried to get me to eat a chunk of pig fat one time, and he tried to make me climb a tall tree to see the little birds. That is just SO WRONG! I told her "he killed my mother." Accepting our parents as less than perfect is an essential part of maturing as a person ourselves. With a dad like this, it's never enough. It is not the right time, not yet. Yes, the new situation may throw up unexpected challenges - but they DO NOT go into it "blind". He will not overpower me or my family. My father made lots of money and we lived in a large house that my mother furnished with nice things. It's like talking to a wall . You may have accepted defeat—you’d never outdo your dad. I feel for you. When I needed new clothes for school this became a battle. You somehow never feel good enough, and even when you do succeed, you still feel empty and second rate. Don´t replay. I am not sure whether it is timely right.. It can cost them if they fulfill Dad's wishes—and it can cost them if they fail. I don't know what to do . But anyway, I thought you were the one who was angry. (at least, I am working on it). But it is easier when you are out of his house. Yes, it is the mother's house too (if the parents live under the same roof). If something bad happens i am always to blame ... not him, never him . I am a sensible person and his constant egotistical behaviour is really starting to get to me . Get a good therapist and surround yourself with a few really good friends. That amounts to little more than "scapegoating" - and THAT is ABUSE. Navigation. Seems like there are still so many weak-minded women are out there in the world, whom fall for sexist man- made doctrines. Love doesn’t come from outside, it comes from inside. I'm not clear as to why you are being so angrily defensive of mothers (all mothers). Baby Won't Sleep? My mother showed plenty of the traits of Borderlines (she lost her mother to cancer at 11 years old and was part of the British post war (WW2) baby boom). Similarities, Differences and Signs, The Difference Between a Narcissist and a Sociopath. He told me that if I ever told anyone, Mama wouldn't love me anymore, because I was a dirty girl. Some people *don't* do the best they can, though. We take our families for granted – it’s natural that we do. But as you grew older, he would rarely miss out on commenting on weight and attitude. What if I just want to get out of the house for awhile?" I don't see another Jean on this site and I never made a comment about hating my dad or that my mom went theough something with my dad or me not wanting children to see their grandfather. It doesn't always work. Then she said if she didn't get a car, she would report his sister to the IRS for tax evasion. For example, they may disregard boundaries, manipulate their children by withholding affection (until they perform), and neglect to meet their children’s needs because their needs come first. My life certainly isn't perfect either and I too am walking the healing path. I continually remind myself that I have my own values and standards for behavior and people should be treated. Later in life he was diagnosed with colorectal cancer that had metastasized to his pelvic organs and liver. I really need some advices . A Hall County man has been arrested and accused of fracturing both of his infant son’s legs, officials said. Now that I notice when these types of women can't hold the mask on perfectly all the time and I see it slip, I want to be able to see them before the mask slips off. So who are you speaking to. He doesn't feel emotions, he mimics them. I use to think it was so mean of her to say that. He was a good father when my mom was still alive ... at least that's how i saw him or maybe she shielded me from seeing how he really is . She would sit with a cup of coffee in one hand, a cigarette in the other, now her hands are full and she can't do anything. However, I got still was abused....and also in adulthood (even it was "not that bad"). One of the most aggravating things I experienced, growing up, was to visit with their respective former families and watch their own parents (my grandparents) shower each of my self-serving parents with love and affection and praise that was so very undeserved. since I know how it caused coming abusive men into my adult life. This is not a gender issue you feminist dolt. 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